on the Verge of

I was literally lying on my bed thinking about how February 2021 passed us by. It is, after all, the shortest month of the year. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Our romantic Valentine's escapade and other trips aside, February has been tough for me mentally and emotionally. Somehow, I can feel the strain of the pandemic creeping on us more. And it's adding up to the current pressures I already have on hand. There were times that I was dragging my feet from the bed despite the irony of me working in the bedroom. I found myself more clingy than usual with my husband. I feel more secure with him, and I am glad I get to talk to him whenever I feel down or frustrated. He is my safety blanket and ultimate emotional support. Although sometimes I know that I should be able to keep myself together, I feel more comfortable and relaxed when he's just around. I'm also thankful for my other friends who have been patient with me, hearing me out when all I wanted was to talk myself...

January 2021 came swiftly like the 13th month pay we got last year. At first it was the New Year, the first day of the year filled with colors of hope. The next thing we know the whole month had already passed us by and it didn't even feel like we've done much. For me, it has been an exceptionally busy month. January is when we usually pick up the slack the holiday season left us. But it felt like it was for the whole 2020. Meetings here and there were uncommonly long and arduous. Goals had to be verified again and again, taking in consideration the new normal extended this year. I found myself frequently having head and neck pains, probable consequences of mental and emotional exhaustion as well as prolonged sitting. But I cannot complain, not much that is. I am still one of the lucky ones who still have a job despite the pandemic. Also, I've had my medical check up recently and it seems like the fight isn't over. No closure for me and my illness yet. But I am positive...

I will be transitioning to a low iodine diet starting today. This means that I have to avoid eating foods that are rich in iodine. It is quite a challenge to eliminate iodine since it could be found as trace minerals in some food. Not to mention, it is mostly found in foods I love to eat. Low Iodine Diet (LID) is typically prescribed to patients like me with Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma who will undergo Radioactive Iodine therapy or scan. This is to starve any remaining thyroid cells of dietary iodine so that they will effectively absorb the radioactive iodine instead. Depends on the doctor's orders, diets usually last for one week or even a month before the actual intake of radioactive iodine. The goal is to simply reduce iodine intake to less than 50 mcg per day. I'm no expert when it comes to this as I'm only relaying whatever experience and medical research I've had so far. But since I'm having an upcoming scan this end-August, I wanted to consolidate all o...

A new month has arrived! I hope August is a more blessed, healthy, and fruitful month for all of us I was a bit anxious about the start of August. Well primarily because it's when I stop taking my hormones in preparation for my radioactive iodine scan by the end of the month. What does this mean for me? It means my energy levels will go low, I'll have more episodes of hypocalcemia, and I'll probably get fat because my digestive system is going to slow down as well. But I've had worse days I think. At least now I know what to expect so I can prepare ahead. I'm praying that this month will be filled with successes in work and personal life. I pray that my scan will show good results. I'm also praying for less Covid-19 infections and a possible vaccine that can eventually turn things for the better. Hello August 2020! Please be better to us ❤️

I've been obsessing recently on watercolors and watercolor painting. It is evidenced by my piling stock of tubes, palettes, pads, and brushes at home. Acrylic was my standard medium since high school but it can be quite structured and stiff. I recently started watercolor painting last year through a  Makoccino  tutorial in YouTube. Ever since then, I haven't stopped practicing and searching for new ideas to paint. So far, landscapes and silhouettes are my favorite subjects. I have yet to practice more on florals and people which I find quite difficult at the moment. Here are some of my works so far. Unlike acrylic, watercolor is flowy and flexible. It's relatively easier to manipulate in terms of gradient and layering. Each painting has given me so much joy and satisfaction. And I am grateful for the many artists online who are sharing techniques and tutorials for newbies like me. I can see myself painting more in the future, whether as a hobbyist or pr...

Hypocalcemia means having a very low level of calcium in the body. Calcium is not only important for bone development but for nerve and muscle function as well. And this is what my hypocalcemia looks like. How hypocalcemia feels like is a different story. On normal days, my hands or face would simply twitch randomly. But on not-so-good days like the photo above, I can't move my hands properly. My muscles would go stiff, folding my hand involuntarily. I would need to exert some effort just to open my hands or move my fingers. Occasionally, prolonged sitting or trips to the comfort room feel like there are pins and needles all over my feet. I have to move constantly to avoid the traumatizing pain of cramps. On worse days, I can feel the muscles tighten all the way to my stomach or chest. The worst was when I couldn't open my hands anymore, my were arms stiff, and my lips were pursing. It was as if my muscles were shrinking in, making it difficult to move. I had to be admitted to ...

I just finished reading Bo Sanchez' book, "How Your Words Can Change Your World". The anecdotes and reflectios in the book have captured and oftentimes moved me to tears. As I read a new chapter every morning, I feel my heart renewed and reassured in the Lord. Words can truly be powerful. What we think about and say to others dictate how we see and live our life. Words of faith, like that of our prayers, are not just words of affirmation. They channel God's power. As it is said in Proverbs 18:21, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue; those who choose one shall eat its fruit." That is why it's important that we use our words and declare our Faith to create our desired future. Now, I'm more mindful of my words and those of others. In my own way, I will be sharing some short declarations or positive statements in my FB page . I hope these words, when said and believed by many, may be enough to create a new future for us, especially amids...