Dealing with Difficult People

We always have this one or two coworkers whom we never like or get along in the office. Sometimes it makes you question what's wrong with yourself. Why is he or she treating you this way? But when you hear other people saying the same comment about them, you feel a sense of relief that you're not the only one putting up with all the drama this certain person is giving you.

But that doesn't change the fact that you have to deal with them. One way or another, your paths cross. You get astoundingly long narrations in their emails. You hear some irksome comments from them. You receive unnecessary criticisms rather than constructive feedback. The list goes on.

In a company that's full of varied and complex personalities, it is inevitable that some people won't get along with each other very well. But that doesn't necessarily mean they have a terrible attitude or what. Their personalities simply don't match with everyone.

Now we go back to the dilemma on how to deal with these difficult people. I made some research and made my own personal inputs from previous training. Here's what I've gathered so far.

First is to put yourself in a state of calm and openness. We have the tendency to be biased with our listening when we have already marked someone as a difficult person. Calm yourself first and be open about what he or she is about to say. Do not let their manner of communicating affect you and your inner peace.

Second is to fully listen. Try to understand their message without the intention of objecting or arguing. Understand where they are coming from. If their true intention is to correct something even if it sounded a little off, then use it as feedback for improvement.

Third is to focus on the issue at hand. It is easy to stray away from the original issue especially when it has escalated so much when it could have been dealt with earlier or in an easier manner. Instead of focusing on mistakes or inappropriate remarks, focus on the real issue and find a way to resolve it.

Another thing that helps me most of the time is to focus on what you can change. People can really be resistant or difficult to communicate with. Most of the time this is something that can be out of our hands. But what you can do is to control your emotions, your reactions and other things that are within your area of control. Focus on what you can do to help solve the problem and come up with a win-win solution.

This has been a long overdue post but I was able to finish this due to recent circumstances that have led me to revisit this post. I hope this helps you in dealing with difficult people in as much as it helping me as well :)