on the Verge of

I just finished reading Bo Sanchez' book, "How Your Words Can Change Your World". The anecdotes and reflectios in the book have captured and oftentimes moved me to tears. As I read a new chapter every morning, I feel my heart renewed and reassured in the Lord. Words can truly be powerful. What we think about and say to others dictate how we see and live our life. Words of faith, like that of our prayers, are not just words of affirmation. They channel God's power. As it is said in Proverbs 18:21, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue; those who choose one shall eat its fruit." That is why it's important that we use our words and declare our Faith to create our desired future. Now, I'm more mindful of my words and those of others. In my own way, I will be sharing some short declarations or positive statements in my FB page . I hope these words, when said and believed by many, may be enough to create a new future for us, especially amids...

I haven't posted any blog for a while. I've been trying to post more in my FB page but the recent craziness in the world has made it difficult for me to find time write here. At least for now, I can make a short post. So, how are you? The recent Covid-19 pandemic has sent the countries around the world in health emergencies and lockdowns. Despite many speculations of the virus' origin, the primary concern right now is how to combat the virus and save lives. And while it seems that those who are not directly infected by it are eager to stay at home, it's no easy feat. That is why I am writing and asking "How are you?". Truth is, staying at home for long periods of time is mentally stressful. We've been used to a routine in life like going to work, eating out, meeting with family or friends and many others. But the recent disruptions to this cycle have thrown our lives in chaos. There is tension in the air, panic buying everywhere, complaints here an...

I came across this quote and I immediately fell in love with it. It aptly describes how I felt back when I met my husband in Cebu four years ago. It's also very timely as Valentine's day is approaching. It's about taking chances in love even if there's a possibility of getting hurt, taking a risk despite the uncertainties that come with it. And in taking that chance and its risks, we find meaning and even perhaps love. To those who have fell in love and got hurt again and again, it's no easy feat. But if we can be open to love again, no matter how scary the possibility of being brokenhearted is, the fact we took the chance once more means we will never give up searching for the right person. And in my experience, along with those I knew who waited for quite a long time, God hears our prayers.

January has been a roller-coaster month, not only for me, but for a lot of people I know as well. We've been through some rough times due to the Taal eruption and corona virus scare. Kobe was not my primary sports idol, but his death sent me and everyone else a huge wave of sadness. My worst for the month was probably the loss of a friend, my dear Kurt, due to cancer. Despite the heartbreaks of January, I am still thankful for the many beautiful moments and reunions it brought me. I was able to get a medical clearance to go back to work and travel. I was able to see my friends and colleagues again, catching up with some gatherings that I missed last holiday season. It's also been a very busy month at work. I haven't really been able to catch up on everything and I feel like I have been asking the same things from before. But I am thankful for all the support and understanding from everyone. I feel blessed to be able to work and be more active again. It's been to...

The second decade of the third millennium is about to end. Ten years ago, I never would have guessed that I would be where I am right now. I've had a lot of heartbreaks along the way, definitely did some terrible mistakes as well. But I would not be who I am today if I haven't been through those embarrassing and painful moments. Despite all my previous medical dilemmas, my knee surgery and thyrodectomy, I'm just thankful to be alive and well. I'm thankful that I still get to experience life, that I can still breath well and hear the birds chirp outside my window, that I can still spend time with the people I value and love most. Ten years ago I was only 18, naive but full of hope. I had declared my dreams and how to achieve them. A few years passed then and I was past my deadlines of becoming a manager and being married. Nonetheless, I reached those goals a few years later, not because I was pressured by my overdue deadlines, but because I was ready. And only God ...

I began to write this as I wait for our plane to take off from Cebu. Earlier today, I woke up for my flight to Cebu. It was 3:45am and my body was aching for more sleep. But I cannot delay since I still had a report to cram at the airport. So I got up and suddenly asked myself, half awake, "Para kanino ako bumabangon?". It was a famous line from that Nescafe commercial. Then as I took a shower, I spoke to God like I never had a conversation with Him for a long time. It was a mess of a prayer, saying random things to Him about the things I am grateful for, my concerns in life, and my worries. I spoke to Him about how scared I was of my Thyroid condition. I spoke to him about my career and many other things. Later today, I had good and long conversation with one of my senior managers. She shared to me about the medical conditions she also faced in life. All throughout she never lost faith and hope in God. She fought and prayed for her life because of her children, her fam...

I have been seeing doctors for the past few weeks because of some inflammation in my neck. And although it feels like it has already subsided, tests show that there is something wrong aunderneath. A few years back, my mom would always point out that my lower neck seems rather odd. Of course I've had it checked during my previous annual physical exams. But the doctors said that there's nothing to be worried about, that it looks prominent but not protruding. Now, after seeing two specialists, it seems clear now that I have a problem with my thyroid. Initially, the doctor told me it was thyroiditis or a 5% chance of cancer due to the hardness of the gland. Hearing the possibility of the latter diagnosis already scared me even if it were just a small percentage. I had a biopsy to had it checked. When we got the results, I felt devastated. There was a suspected papillary carcinoma. The doctor immediately recommended surgery the next day. I sought a second opinion first with an...

2018 has been an exhilarating ride. The year started out with an unexpected shift in my career path. There were many struggles along the way and the learning curve was steep. But I was able to cope up with the help of my mentors, colleagues, and team mates. I also married the love of my life last September. The preparations were tough and I thought I was going to faint before I walked down the aisle. But everything turned out more perfectly than I could have ever imagined it. Keen and I also had our dream honeymoon in Japan. It was probably the best international trip we've had so far. We explored many places and ate a lot of our favorite Japanese food. it was really a dream come true. Then there's the married life where Keen and I had to go through many changes and adjustments. But we were so blessed to have been supported by both our families as we started a new life in our new home. It's been more than two weeks and we can officially say that we have settl...

Keen and I have been married for a month now. It seems to us that so much has happened in between our wedding day and today. Sometimes it's still unbelievable, and even weird, to be married to each other. It is unbelievable because it used to be a dream to be married to each other. We used to imagine how things would be like, just like waking up in the morning together or going home to the same house or what to cook for breakfast. The list goes on. At the same time it is weird because we used to do a lot of things on our own or just with our family. Now we find ourselves constantly with each other. We wake up and there is another human being breathing beside us. When doing groceries I don't just consider my own needs but his as well. All these things are new and takes a lot of getting used to. The past few weeks have indeed been full of travels and adventures, of adjustments and compromises. We have had many firsts and we look forward to many more moments in the years to ...

Yes! We finally tied the knot last Saturday, September 29. It has been a crazy weekend for me and Keen. I'm writing this article as we board our plane for Japan. I just figured it might be too late if I post this after our honeymoon. We are just overwhelmed with love and gratitude from everyone who came and congratulated us. A huge shoutout to our parents for their love and support. Also, many thanks to our families, friends and loved ones. Many of whom came from different places just to celebrate with us. Special thanks to our coordinator Liz and her team. Their work was simply splendid. Everyone gave many positive feedback about the program, decor, etc. Also, a huge thank you from me to ex boyfriend and now husband Keen. Your surprise dance number with the 'Let's Go Boys' truly made the celebration more special. To quote my mom, they forgot they were hungry when they saw all of you dance. I'm still laughing every time I see the videos. And most especially, t...

A few days from now Keen and I will be saying our I Do's to each other. People have been asking how we feel now that the date draws near. We feel excited and overwhelmed at the same time. And there's this inexplicable feeling that stirs us inside, like constant butterflies in our stomach. We barely had nine months to prepare. But I'm grateful for all the blessings that came our way to be able to pull it off in a short time. I pray for a successful and meaningful event. More importantly, I pray for a blessed marriage that comes after the ceremony and celebrations. The wedding stamps the beginning of a happy ending, the start of forever. And so now we begin counting the days until we finally spend a lifetime together. Photos by Keir Ashley Lim

I wrote this one time when I heard about the news of our dear bamboo tree being cut down for the works to be done in our creek. It's sad to say goodbye to things that we have been attached to. What more difficulty it is to say goodbye to a living thing that has been a part of our lives. With its shade gone, our neighborhood feels empty and exposed. I feel so melancholic about it. This is my poem for it, to remember it always... Goodbye Dear Tree It had always been there Since I could remember It was planted long ago By a fellow neighbor who Loved nature so He died protecting it Tall and strong Yet pliant and humble Its shade has been caring Strong and protecting Even as heat rose In the years that came We have seen it grown Towering over us Green and soothing A pillar from nature That creatures came home To its simple stature But alas one day To save man from its doing News came that it had to be Cut down for our safety Replaced by stones Stacked hard...

We always have this one or two coworkers whom we never like or get along in the office. Sometimes it makes you question what's wrong with yourself. Why is he or she treating you this way? But when you hear other people saying the same comment about them, you feel a sense of relief that you're not the only one putting up with all the drama this certain person is giving you. But that doesn't change the fact that you have to deal with them. One way or another, your paths cross. You get astoundingly long narrations in their emails. You hear some irksome comments from them. You receive unnecessary criticisms rather than constructive feedback. The list goes on. In a company that's full of varied and complex personalities, it is inevitable that some people won't get along with each other very well. But that doesn't necessarily mean they have a terrible attitude or what. Their personalities simply don't match with everyone. Now we go back to the dilemma on how...

There is this innate attitude in people that makes them resistant to change. This manifests greatly when these changes throws us off our original plans or deviates from what we were accustomed to. In terms of career, I never thought I'd be where I am right now at this point and age. Although I did say to myself in college that I want to be in this position by the time I was 25. When I turned 26 last year, I never expected a promotion to happen in the next two years or more. Before that major change in my life, I was happy at where I was. I was contented in being stagnant. I even told a colleague that if I was offered a higher position then, I would refuse it. I felt like I wasn't ready to step up yet and that I had so much to learn. A few days after, I had to eat those words. I was given an unexpected opportunity to assume a bigger role. Although a week earlier I had assumed an entirely different role, I never thought they would ask me to step up further in a span of a fe...

Someone asked me earlier why I wasn't so enthusiastic about her relationship with this certain guy she was dating. I replied by saying that I feel like he just isn't the one for her. Now I don't claim to be an expert in knowing everything about finding the one true love. But I have been through a lot of crap in my past relationships. In the beginning of those relationships, I thought it was finally the guy I'd spend the rest of my life with. But when I met Keen, I just knew that he was really the one. I just didn't feel it really but there were certain characteristics that made me say so. Now to be more precise, here are three indicators that I can point out. 1. Consistent and Extra Effort There are guys who will text or call you when they get bored while there are others who will always be there for you. The former is only there when he needs you. But the latter finds a way to be with you no matter what. They give up their lunch break to bring you flowers or ...

I haven't been publishing some works for a while here in my blog. I say publish because I have been writing a lot of drafts but I haven't had the time to continue and proofread them. Anyway, I wanted to write down a short post just to capture the fleeting ideas in my head right now and the reflections that come with it. I was recently sick which is nothing new. But it is annoying how it has become a norm for me. In as much as I would like to be healthier, at some point the food, weather or some virus would affect me. And learning from my previous mistakes, I cannot neglect simple symptoms that could worsen if not immediately treated. But now it appears as if I'm just overreacting over small things. I have accepted the fact that my body or my immune system is not really that strong. But I have been doing my best to take care of myself. I have shifted my practices and the personal products I have used. I am working on going back to excercising more. I'm beginning to l...

This morning my family and I had our traditional way of the cross. Ever since I can remember, it has been our lenten devotion every Good Friday. What's special this year is that we are complete. It has been quite a while since we've had a perfect attendance. For the past few years there was a sibling missing because of work or other commitments. So it was indeed a very good Good Friday for all of us. As I reflected upon our uphill journey, I prayed for strength that we may continue this wonderful journey of life as a family and individuals. With my upcoming wedding, I'm not sure when will be the next time we will be complete in our way of the cross. And so I also pray for more beautiful and meaningful moments with each other. ❤️

Another week begins today. I look outside the window. The afternoon  sun hides beneath the gloomy clouds as it begins to rain. There is a mix of sadness, self-doubt and fear that stirs inside my heart. At the same time, ironically, I feel empty inside. But I look at the man beside me. I've felt this feeling before but I was alone in an empty two bedroom apartment. Back then I was fed up, drained and even suicidal. Now I have someone beside me, cheering and motivating me. He believes in me. And most of all, he loves me. In my lowest points in life, he picks me up and shows me my potential and worth. And I thank God that he has made all the difference in my life.

Today marks my first year in VXI Global. It is my third company in my five years of corporate career. The first few months were typically the challenging months. Trying to learn new skills, having someone under you, and immersing yourself in a new working environment were some of the things I needed to adjust to right away. Just when I was getting more settled at work, more changes and challenges came along the way. Tougher decisions had to be made. Paradigms had to shift and adaptation was key. But more than those work related challenges, I underwent one of my toughest medical trials in my life. I had to take a leave for a month because of my swollen knee. And it didn't stop at that. A few weeks after, I got hospitalized again because of pneumonia. Then it was followed by a dental operation for my impacted tooth. Thankfully, VXI's HMO was able to cover most of my medical expenses. I am also very grateful for my family and colleagues for understanding and suppor...

The past few weeks, or perhaps months, have been quite a struggle for me. My physical health has been tested again and again. And so were my principles in life. And perhaps even my pride. I continue to struggle with repetitive frustrations. My heart could only take in so much heartbreak at a time. I feel so disappointed that I couldn't understand why all my efforts have failed me. And now I could be struggling with a greater challenge in life. I am in tears like a little girl because my fear always came first. I fear that I may not be as strong as people think I am, that I'm just a helpless terrified girl who was too naive to see the world for what it is. I fear failure, like most people do, and the great disappointments that came with it. When I was younger, I somehow knew what I wanted. I was independent and strong willed. But some unfortunate years have taken away my optimism. Now, I couldn't even cross the bridge without having someone to hold. I have lost a lot o...