The Myth of Work-Life Balance

Years after quitting my last corporate job, I found myself working for the academe. And while the pay was substantially lower, it was a fulfilling work that gave me peace and purpose. It wasn't something I could call work-life balance, but it was meaningful work for me.

However, late last year, I was given an opportunity to work remotely for a US company. It would utilize my real estate, project management, and industrial engineering background and provide a reasonable compensation. But it meant giving up my career of being a full time professor and doing full time graveyard consultation work.

At first, the learning curve was okay. There were days when it would get stressful, but it was reasonable. And while the graveyard shift was a great sacrifice for me, what I earned was enough to allow me to dream of other investments while being able to provide for my mom as well.

But come last month...

I was back in the US, this time with my mom, to visit my sister and her family. Although I was in the east coast and my company follows the west coast, the time difference gave me adequate rest. My circadia rhythm had a better pace. So I was able to accomplish more or even better output.

But all of a sudden, my counterpart in the company was removed from his post. We transitioned everything in two days. Now all, if not most of the work shared between us was suddenly dropped onto me. And that's when I felt like my mental health began to spiral.

Of course there were other emotional circumstances which may have taken place (but that's for another post), but the weight of the work before me seemed too heavy. It demanded a lot of strategy and coordination which was a challenge when you are miles away from operation. The one person I relied for immediate information and support was gone. I found myself crying on several occassions asking myself, is it still worth it?

I tried to remember how I used to 'balance' it before. Did I? Was it a myth or was it a thing of the past?

Now, I am trying to keep myself sane by going back to writing. Putting the scattered pieces of my emotional and mental shards back into place so I'll know how to glue them back.

This is a coping mechanism. God knows how long it will last. But I pray for the strength to overcome this challenge. After all, I once prayed to be blessed with work that can bless the ones I love. But I hope, it just doesn't come at the price of losing myself.