on the Verge of

I began to write this as I wait for our plane to take off from Cebu. Earlier today, I woke up for my flight to Cebu. It was 3:45am and my body was aching for more sleep. But I cannot delay since I still had a report to cram at the airport. So I got up and suddenly asked myself, half awake, "Para kanino ako bumabangon?". It was a famous line from that Nescafe commercial. Then as I took a shower, I spoke to God like I never had a conversation with Him for a long time. It was a mess of a prayer, saying random things to Him about the things I am grateful for, my concerns in life, and my worries. I spoke to Him about how scared I was of my Thyroid condition. I spoke to him about my career and many other things. Later today, I had good and long conversation with one of my senior managers. She shared to me about the medical conditions she also faced in life. All throughout she never lost faith and hope in God. She fought and prayed for her life because of her children, her fam...

I have been seeing doctors for the past few weeks because of some inflammation in my neck. And although it feels like it has already subsided, tests show that there is something wrong aunderneath. A few years back, my mom would always point out that my lower neck seems rather odd. Of course I've had it checked during my previous annual physical exams. But the doctors said that there's nothing to be worried about, that it looks prominent but not protruding. Now, after seeing two specialists, it seems clear now that I have a problem with my thyroid. Initially, the doctor told me it was thyroiditis or a 5% chance of cancer due to the hardness of the gland. Hearing the possibility of the latter diagnosis already scared me even if it were just a small percentage. I had a biopsy to had it checked. When we got the results, I felt devastated. There was a suspected papillary carcinoma. The doctor immediately recommended surgery the next day. I sought a second opinion first with an...